january 20th and all is well..... here, at least.

i feel very lame for not updating this is a long time. however, that's only because my life is so full of other, much more important things. ok.

sometimes i wish i was a superhero. . . or at least had superhero powers. you know... i could even make do with super stretchy arms. . . today, i was at Uranus briefly.... and i saw the most brilliant invention ever. it was a fork... that stretched out like an old tv antenna. you pull it and it stretches out to two feet long so that you can enjoy your dinner AND everyone else's! there was also this clock that i really wanted, but it was an outrageous amount of money that i could put to better use like feeding the starving Africans. anyway... it said "this clock is not the boss of me!" and i wanted to buy it very badly. i couple weeks ago i was there getting luggage tags, because the ones i got for Christmas were ugly, and i got one that said "does this bag make my butt look big?" and another that said "take my bag, do my laundry." i thought they suited me quite perfectly really.... you know... i would hate to eat sand. or grasshoppers... it makes me cringe... but how many people eat that daily, if they're lucky??? probably a lot... man, you know what... life is a lot easier when you're ignorant. before i learned about sex trafficking and forced prostitution and slavery... and hunger... and abortion... my life was so simple. so easy. now i have this deep conviction that hurts my heart so badly that i always have it on my mind. whenever i spend money now, not that i feel "guilty" but i'm thinking about where else it could go or should go. maybe i'm just not so selfish... maybe... maybe i'm just learning to think about somebody other than myself and how wide my butt is. who gives a rip anyway. life is more than a series of "ironic" events and "opportunities". when were living right, its not because of "irony" that we meet people that change us. its not a "good job opportunity" because were all that amazingly special perfect and wonderful. its because gods got a plan. sometimes i worry about his plan... because at this rate ima be some woman living out in the Congo doing undercover investigations of human trafficking. god forbid. i guess i wont be worrying about how wide my butt is there, either. anyway... perhaps i'm learning an awful lot... but, it is all good. its good to learn. its good to be burdened. its good to have a broken heart sometimes. if you're hearts broken because someone else's heart has been broken, you're in the right place. so... do something about it. nobody's asking you to enjoy a hot tub of woe... just, think about somebody else. think about somebody's day.... waking up in a brothel.... being violated constantly by gross men you don't know.... being treated about as equally as an alley mut.... and then going to bed in a brothel.... that's somebody's reality. and it hurts me... it makes me just break down. i cant imagine it for me, but more than that, i cant imagine it for my sister... it makes me so angry. god i just frigging hate these disgusting crimes that our world just... thrives on. because you know, its somebody's daughter, sister, niece... some parents have to sell their daughter to provide for the others in the family, knowing exactly whats going to happen to her, and what her fate's going to be. they have to deal with that. that hurts me. that any parent should have to make such a brutal desicion that to survive they have to SELL their own daughter. can you imagine how horrible it would feel spending the money that came from your daughters worth? can you imagine getting pennies as the "worth" of your daughter, when you know how priceless she is? can you imagine selling her to sick men that will treat her like a scungy dog? can you imagine being the other members of the family remembering her? i cant. we are so blessed to be where we are. and why. darn it, why are we here? why is it that some ppl are born into such poverty while we bathe in wealth? it makes me mad. im ashamed to be so thoughtless with my spending... ugh this just frustrates me more than i can even write. how can i do something... its just not enough. this isn't okay. and this is our worlds reality. what can we do.... frig... what can we do. . . do something... for the love of god, lets do something for somebody else