clay to the potter

im so in love with the song here is gone by the goo goo dolls...

goodness sakes.. its been such a weird couple of days for me. sometimes, i just dont understand myself. i know that sounds kind of ... emo... but really, i am me, shouldnt i know myself pretty well and understand myself? yeah well... i dont. i do the stupidest things sometimes and its a good thing theres new mercies every morning. some days i should just go right back to bed and wait for the next day, cause it doesnt take me to long to blow it.

"O house of Israel, can I not do with you as this potter does?" declares the LORD. "Like clay in the hand of the potter, so are you in my hand, O house of Israel."
jeremiah 18:6

sweet scripture. i love it. its interesting.. im learning that even when i think im strong, and i can do things on my own, i really am fragile. ive never thought of myself that way, i dont think i ever will, or could... im too... independent i guess. even when i do everything on my own, i fall flat down though, which is what i mean by fragile. maybe thats a wrong word, but i guess what i mean is even tho im very self sufficient and independent, im really quite dependent. im really nothing without the grace of god... what can i do without him? what am i without him? who am i without him??? whats my life worth without him?? nothing really... in a generation or two, i will be just another name. but this scripture, jeremiah 18.6, im seeing myself as the clay... clay before its in the hand of the potter isnt anything special. its kind of useless... not very pretty.. nothing nice about it, really. but, as the potter works, if youve ever seen him, sometimes youre like "what in the name of heaven is this guy doing?" but, as he works it begins to resemble something useful. . . you have an idea of the finished product. he shapes it, and when hes finished, theres a beautiful product left.. and then he paints it. he perfects it.. makes it beautiful. right now... im that ugly clay being molded. ive already been picked up with a plan of what my mold looks like... but hes just.. molding me... making me, whose just some ugly clump of useless clay, into something much more spectacular.... sometimes i wonder what the potter is doing... i think hes doing it wrong, or messing up, or whatever... but... the clay has alot less sense than the potter... :) great scripture. that was such a mess of thoughts. hahaha im not the best at displaying my thoughts at 1215am. but.. there you have it.

later days