gods so good, isnt he?

lately, all Ive wanted was everything he is. i cant explain it. the more of myself that i give up, the more of him he replaces in me. in my every weakness, he has been my strength. in every mistake he has been there ready to pour his grace over me.

let me tell you something. trying to hold onto something with nothing to hold on to is really unnerving. trying to pursue something that you cannot change is just as difficult and probably more unlikely to work out. i have been learning to rely on god in every area... to acknowledge him in all my ways... and when i put myself out there, i make myself vulnerable, he takes advantage of that, uses me every time and meets me exactly where I'm at. the more i learn that i don't know as much as i think i do, the more he is able to teach me. if i were to approach god like i knew how he should respond to my prayer, I'm not likely to receive what he wants me to receive because I'm dead set on what i want him to respond like.

trusting god feels to your head like your crazy, but to your heart like your right where you're supposed to be. something Ive learned lately is that if your head is saying something to you, its a rational thought... god doesn't work with what makes sense to us. he is a supernatural god not a natural god and he doesn't change the way he works so that we can understand. we are told to live by faith which means we don't listen to our head we listen to what gods speaking to our hearts even if our heads don't understand. if our heads understood, it wouldn't be living by faith. living by faith means telling your head to be quiet and following after what god says even though in the natural, it seems like its ridiculous.

i think its everyone's weakness is being vulnerable to gods real plan for us. its not easy to trust god. its uncomfortable and it sometimes seems contradictory, but that's to our natural minds, not to our supernatural god. god is a big god. trust him. hes been around a while and he knows.

let me close with this...
if everything you do is rational, you're not being led by the spirit of god. if your trusting god even though what he said and what he is saying don't make sense - you're probably right where he wants you - trusting him and hearing his voice...

look up the story of Abraham and Isaac. Isaac had a promise over his life and god told Abraham to sacrifice him. it didn't make sense, Sarah was scared, Abraham was confused... he was like "but god.. you said..." and god said, "yes, but i want you to trust me." even tho it was hard and Abraham's head didn't agree with what god spoke to his heart, he trusted god entirely. . . notice god pulled through. ;)