so, levis in india and i really miss him. im going to europe pretty quickly here... not worried, but a little nervous about what its going to look like definitely looking forward to it and the ppl im going to meet and the things im going to see and experience, but i have an idea that it wont be comfortable the whole time... which may be a good thing. im just... really wishing things were they way they used to be right now. life used to be so comfortable and secure. i always had that person to rely on... get coffee with.. spend time with... spending time with madi and brandon makes me miss that... my life is so different from what it used to be just five months ago. i love being stretched, and ive learned so much, but im just missing that ... sense of security. theres not much security here for me right now... anywhere.. haha... its hard. its hard to realize and even harder to live through. its an hour by hour, step by step thing. one day at a time... i wish there was something tangible to place my hands on.... anything specific to look forward to... something to hold onto.... i know god has good things for me... and theyre coming, theyre here. everything just looks different. i gotta just.. rely on god to guide me every step of the way... to direct me... patience... patience patience... patience...